Letters to Vanille
by emstar1-1
Summary: After the fall of Cocoon, Hope is shattered. Not by the initial loss of his world, but the loss of Vanille. So he writes letters to her as a way to cope with everything, even after everyone leaves him, even whilst he waits for five hundred years.


**_A/N: here just a little one shot I quickly wrote, I hope you enjoy it! _**

**_Oh, I actually heard this is a way of coping with grief, so if any of you are (although I really hope none of you are!) then this could help you.  
Disclaimer: if I owned FF, then Hope and Vanille would be married in Lightning Returns but noooo they had to make it so Hope's a fourteen year old again!_**

* * *

Hey, Vanille.  
I heard that writing can make you feel better, so here we are. It was Serah's idea, I don't know how she can still think of other people with how depressed she is now.  
It's been two weeks since you and Fang turned to crystal. I can't go out onto that plain, it reminds me of you and I get all chocked up and then people start worrying. I still haven't heard your voice since you spoke into our minds on that day, I miss it. You were like a ray of light in my life when it all seemed so dark. I need you Vanille, why did you leave? Why did you go with Fang? Couldn't she have just gone by herself with Lightning? No, that's selfish. Whatever, it's done now.  
Hope.

* * *

Hey Vanille, it's me again.  
It's been one month now. You appeared in my dream the other day, but you looked a bit different, it was strange. Maybe next time I'll be able to place my finger on it. You will come again, won't you? You can't leave me now! There's still a stigma on L'cie, but Lightning has gone missing so we're leaderless. Everyone's a mess. Serah and Snow have moved down to a beach are they've called 'New Bodhm' but Serah's still really depressed and it's putting a strain on Snow, that much I can see; Sazh and Dajh have gone off to deliver supplies so that we can build new towns. Which leaves me, on my own. My dad's here and we're slowly getting to know each other better but it's still so lonely. We're still living on cocoon, in Palompolom but we're moving soon. We're going to live in the new city in the corner of the Archylte Steppe, don't worry, we didn't let them build on Oerba, it's being kept off as a nature reserve.  
I'll see you again, won't I?  
Hope.

* * *

Hey Vanille,  
You haven't come into my dreams again, but I keep thinking I've heard your voice. It's strange - I must be going crazy! It's been 3 months now, I still miss you terribly, it still feels like you're just going to pop out of nowhere and tell a story about Oerba... but I can't tell my dad about anything I feel, that'll just worry him more. Besides, we still don't get along that freely. It's strange, we never really talked before mom... you know… but now it feels like I've known him all my life.  
Lightning's still missing, we've searched high and low for her, Serah's still a mess too - she was really looking forward to finally getting married. I wonder if they'll get married when you're back here. I'd like to take you… If that's okay of course!  
Dajh is growing up, he's a lot taller now! Sazh looks a bit older as well, but is still the same old man as ever. I'm growing up too, I turned fifteen two days ago. I'm getting taller, next time I'll be taller than you!  
I'll see you again one day.  
Hope.

* * *

Vanille.  
It's been six months, why haven't I seen you apart from that once? I went to New Bodhm the other day and everyone was there. Well, I saw Sazh, Dajh, Serah, Snow and NORA. Sazh said he saw Fang in a dream, and Serah's been talking about the time she saw you. Snow looked like he wanted to say something but looked at me and stopped Why not me? Did you... Did you really not care? Was I just kidding myself? I talked to Snow about it, he looked like he was keeping a secret from me. Even when he was telling me how hard he knew it would be he still kept it from me! Why? What's wrong? You were taken from me and the only chance I get to see you, you don't let me?  
Whatever. Anyway, I'm going away to Academia, the new city.  
Maybe this'll be the last time you ever hear from me then.  
Hope.

* * *

Hey, Vanille.  
I'm sorry about my last letter, I was just so angry. You came into my dream the other day, you had this little girl with you: she had hair a little lighter than your own and eyes the same colour as mine. It was strange, it's like I recognized her, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. You looked happier than I'd ever seen too, was it something I'd done? I'd be happy if it was. How old was that girl anyway? It's been a year now, but she seemed to be a few months old. She was adorable! She couldn't talk but she made happy sounds all the time, she even smiled at me!  
We still haven't found Lightning. Snow and Serah are the only two who still believe she's out there somewhere. I really would like to hope she is, but she's probably helping you in the pillar somewhere.  
I'll see you and that little girl again sometime, right?  
Hope.

* * *

Vanille.  
I have some really bad news: soon after my last letter, Snow set out to find Lightning, but he never returned. Now Serah's gone too, off with this guy called Noel apparently. They said (they being NORA) that he reminded them of you. Did you know him?  
That's not the last of the bad news: Sazh and Dajh are missing too. It's really terrible, they're all gone! I'm the only one left now. I'm all alone.  
It's been three years now, I'm 18. Would you recognize me? I can't fit into my old clothes anymore, but I always keep that orange bandana around my arm on top of the tattoo you drew. I'm in university now, I'm ahead of my class by two years. Dad said mom would be proud of me, I hope so. It's strange, everyone around me has girlfriends or boyfriends, but I'll never have one. No one holds a candle to you! My friends are nice enough, but sometimes other people will say something about the past, or you, Fang and Lightning and it's enough to make me snap. But I never do. It's like every time I'm about to, I can hear your voice and it calms me down.  
My history teacher was fascinated by the tattoo you gave me, he asked me all about it; it made me want to laugh and cry. He said it would be a fascinating discovery for the botanists and sent me off to the biology department where they questioned me for hours. Needless to say, I didn't get back to my lectures that day.  
My dad's been looking a bit older than usual these days, I asked him about it but he just brushed it off. He works himself to the bone with the Academy all day, he really needs to rest.  
Hope.  
P.S: I love seeing you and the little girl, it gives me hope and the strength to carry on.

* * *

Vanille.  
I don't think I can write much today. My dad just died. He passed away in the night. He wrote me a letter, it talked about how proud he was of me and how proud mum would be. I don't want that, I want him back! I want everyone back! It's been three years since the last time I saw anyone! I'm sorry I haven't written, but being the director of the academy keeps me very busy. And now… Now I don't feel like doing anything. There really is nothing for me to live for anymore, is there?  
Well, there's you and that girl. The girl that comes to my dreams with you is older now, I make her out to be about... Six? It's been six years since the fall now. She talks now, doesn't she? She's so kind and smart, and she's just as pretty as her mum. How about we call her 'Aiko'? I found it in a book the other day, it was a book on Pulsian names. I found yours in it, I almost lost control right there in the middle of the library.  
I miss you so much, please, I'll find a way to get you three back.  
Hope.

* * *

Hey, Vanille.  
I saw Serah and Noel shortly after that letter I sent, they told me about their time traveling and Lightning's predicament. You know it's been nine years since the fall. Nine! I'm 24 just now, it was my birthday last week so that makes me just under ten years older than when we first me! I still find it difficult to go to that part of the Archylte Steppe, but I always go every time I write a letter. It's strange, after all this time I still write you letters, most people would've moved on by now, but I never will. I still get my hopes up for you to be there waiting for me. Even for a letter to magically appear in the hole I put my letter in. But no, there's never anything there. I suppose I shouldn't hope.

I'm trying to help in any way I can, we're even building a time machine.  
Ah, we = Alyssa and me. Alyssa is my assistant and she irritates me so much. She seems so... Unreal, maybe even fake? She's so nosey as well, she's even trying to read my letters now! But I'll never let them know. Nobody knows about our love. How's Aiko doing? I'm glad you said you like the name. Maybe one day, when you're free we'll... No, never mind.  
I'll see you soon.  
Hope.

* * *

Hey Vanille,  
I'm sorry but this is going to be a short letter.  
I'm leaving today for 400AF, with (sadly) Alyssa. I would just go on my own, but she is extremely clever and is the only other person who knows about the plans. If we fail, she can't know anything to tell the wrong people.  
If anything happens to me, just know that I love you so much. If nothing happens to me, and you see me again, I just hope you can recognize me - I'm 27 now! I'm a lot taller and my face looks older. But my voice is still the same, maybe you'll remember that? And the orange bandana of course. You always said it was your favourite.  
I love you, and tell Aiko that I'll miss her.  
Hope.

* * *

Hey Vanille,  
I made it! I'm here, in 400AF! It's so different, the city is huge and full of life. You'd love it.  
I'm working on a way to free you now, I can see it all clearly. I just have to tell people somehow, maybe I'll tell Alyssa and she can translate. I'll be leaving again soon, if we can find the materials, for 500AF. I'll be able to see you then! I wonder how the city will look then. I went to where my old apartment was, but there's nothing there now. It's a museum, strangely, I even found an exhibit on us all! They talked about us all, maybe I'll go and correct some the mistakes they made. They said you had red hair and blue eyes! I can still remember how you look exactly. There were some errors about Snow and Lightning too, I'll iron them out as well.

I found our letters, though not where I left them. They'd been taken to the local museum and it took hours of persuasion to get them back! I was a bit embarrassed when he also gave me some analysis they'd done on the dreams and Aiko. They came up with one solution, but no, that can't be possible! I was only 14!  
Some part of my heart hopes so though...  
Love, Hope

* * *

Hey Vanille.  
Serah and Noel have just finished delivering the materials. Serah was surprised that I still write letters to you, but said give for me to give you her love. She said you hadn't visited her since 'forever' and then proceeded to talk about you and Aiko and Fang, although she did have an inkling about who exactly Aiko was - she seemed to get the answer from my face. I'm sure I can keep secrets better than that! Anyway, you'll be free soon.

Aiko's getting a lot bigger, isn't she? Last night she appeared to be about 16, 17? She truly was beautiful, just like you! Her eyes are a nice ocean coloured teal and her hair is a silvery orange colour, it's already grown to her waist! Her skin is the most beautiful thing about her, it's mildly tanned, just like yours and mine, but it seems to emit radiance! Maybe one day we'll have a daughter like that - if you want one of course.  
Serah just caught me going red at the thought and demanded the read the letter. I wouldn't let her though, I am taller than her now after all!  
I'll see you very soon, I hope.  
Love, Hope.

* * *

A silver haired man who was nearing his thirties walked slowly towards the crystal pillar that held up the now ancient plant above. He looked so out of place, like a Pulsian on Cocoon. But who was a Pulsian and who was from Cocoon anymore? The silver haired man paused at the front of the ethereal looking crystal and admired it for a long moment. His ocean coloured eyes came to rest on the two figures in the middle, daintily made from crystal. He reached up to touch the younger, smaller of the girls on her delicate cheek. Temporarily transfixed, the man's other arm dangled limply by his side, whilst his fingers clutched a pristine white envelope addressed to the girl in the pillar. He smiled bitterly before tearing his teal eyes away from the statue and tucking the letter into the heavenly column, a small cove had been dug into the side which contained some now weathered letters.  
He sighed, taking one last, longing glance before ripping his eyes away and slowly walking away from the pillar. It looked strange, if one had seen the fall of cocoon and the month that followed four hundred and thirteen years ago, they may have seen a young silver haired boy retreating from the mountain of crystal with reddened eyes that dripped rivers of tears. Now however, the man walked away with an almost bitter sweet smile. He would be the one to free her.

* * *

Vanille,  
This will be the last letter I send to you, everything's over now. We're all here in the Academy headquarters waiting for you and Fang to wake up once more.  
I don't know how to feel, I've been waiting for this moment for five hundred years. I suppose I'm nervous, anxious, relived and excited all at once. I'm sorry that you have to have a full medical as soon as you wake up, but it's only to keep you safe. It was a bit awkward when I had to ask the nurse for a pregnancy test for you too. She gave me a puzzled look but nodded anyway. A part of me hopes it comes up positive, but then again, it's your body, could you handle it right now? Do you still love me? I don't know if I could live anymore if you didn't… I know I still love you as much as I did five hundred years ago… Oh, I've just heard you're waking up, I'll be there soon! I'll show you all these letters one day.  
Goodbye for now,  
your dearest love Hope.

* * *

Hey Vanille,  
I accidentally knocked over the box is kept aside for these letters, I still haven't shown you them. I guess we both got so distracted with Aiko and the academy and the general public. But it's over now. Everything's so peaceful, life is like a dream! Lightning and Fang will probably come barging in soon, so I'll make this quick.

We all live in this amazing house now, the three buildings make up and amazing compound. Sazh and Dajh live in the smallest one. Sazh is still the same old man, although his afro is rather grey now. Dajh and his wife Natsumi live with their children Nao and Jasper. They're both such sweet children, thery really love their grandchildren too! Lightning and Fang live together too, they never married, but they have two adopted children – the twins, Raine and Sunny, who whilst looking completely different suit their names down to a T! Serah and Snow got married in 500 AF, just after you two woke up, didn't they? They've got two chidren – Alex and Mikomi now. They both have Serah's hair, don't they. Noel got married too, to the Yeul we found in this time period. It seems that not all of the Yeuls died in that same horrible fate after all. They're got three children who carry on the Yeul-tide names: Nova, Holly and Eve; they were all born around Christmas too!

And then finally, our children.  
Aiko's 16 now, and she's as beautiful as I thought she would be. She's just like she was in the dreams, right down to seeming emit a holy light of some sorts.  
Haru's 15, and he seems to take after me, he's quiet, clever but has your big heart. His hear is a short strawberry blonde, and he has real eyes too, but they seem to be more green the Aiko's  
Garnet's 13 and is just like you. Her eyes are just like her older sister's but she has red curly hair. Her hair is long like her sisters, but reaches her mid back now. She's always happy and bounding around, it's quite a sight!  
And Maria, the youngest. She's 10 now, but it seems like only yesterday she was born. She looks the most like me, her hairs the same shade as mine and has inherited my brains too. But her eyes are exactly like yours, it's amazing really.  
Vanille, you look as wonderful as ever. There's not a day that goes by when I don't thank Etro for you being here. The life we lead now is the best thing that could have ever happened to me, no matter how tough it gets, I'll always be here for you.  
Your love, forever and always, Hope.

* * *

**_A/N: there we go! I thought that was a sweet idea there, I just thought of it as _**a**_ prompt one day and here we are!  
So thanks for reading and review if you enjoyed!_**

* * *

**_OC Character fact file:_**

**_Aiko Dia Estheim - Eldest child and first daughter of Hope and Vanille. She has sea coloured eyes and her hair is a bit lighter than Vanille's. Her skin has an etheral glow due to her being conceived just before Vanille was sealed into the crystal pillar. Her middle name is 'Dia' after her mother's name._**

**_Haru Yun Estheim - Second child of Hope and Vanille and the only son. He has teal eyes and mildly ginger hair. His middle name is 'Yun' after his grandfather's Name, Oerba Yun Basil. His auntie Fang is also from that clan._**

**_Garnet Coral Estheim - Third child and second daughter of Hope and Vanille. She has Sea coloured eyes and Red hair, hence her name 'Garnet'. _**

**_Maria Alexandria Estheim - Youngest child and thrid daughter of Hope and Vanille. She has green eyes and platinum blonde hair._**

**_Mikomi Jade Villiers - Oldest child and only daughter of Serah and Snow. She has pinky blond hair and blue eyes.  
_**

**_Alex Hiro Villiers - Second child and only son of Serah and Snow. He has pink hair and blue eyes._**

**_Nova Kin Kreiss - Oldest child and only son of Noel and Yuel. He has brown hair and green - blue eyes._**

**_Holly Sora Kreiss - Middle child and first daughter of Noel and Yeul. She has light blue hair and sky blue eyes, leading to her middle name, 'Sora'._**

**_Eve Emerald Kreiss - Youngest child and second daughter of Noel and Yeul. She has dark blue hair and green eyes, leading to her middle name 'Emerald'._**

**_Raine Opal Faron - The older twin of Lightning and Fang. She has black hair and grey eyes, giving her the name 'Raine'. Although she is a twin, she looks nothing like Sunny and acts more like Lightning than Fang._**

**_Sunny Lazuli Faron - The younger twin of Lightning and Fang. She has blonde hair and blue eyes, giving her the name 'Sunny'. She doesn't look anything like Raine, and acts more like Fang than Lightning._**

**_Jasper Locke Katzroy - The older son of Natsumi and Dajh. He has Brown hair and brown eyes. He has his hair in and Afro, like Dajh and Sazh._**

**_Nao Matthew Katzroy - The younger son of Natsumi and Dajh. He has Black hair and light brown eyes, although he doesn't have an Afro.  
_**

* * *

**_Names etymology: (Only less common names are here and ones that need to be explained)._**

**_Aiko - Love child. No literally, Love Child. It's needless to say she was basically a love child :p _**

**_Haru - Spring. Yes, it can be a male name. _**

**_Maria - I don't know the etymology but it's inspired by Maria from the Opera in Final Fantasy 6._**

**_Alexandria - a feminine form of the name 'Alexander'. Popularized in England after Edward VII's marriage to Alexandra of Denmark. Also the name of the capital of Egypt. Inspired by the city from FF9._**

**_Mikomi- Child not yet seen. Yep, that name's part of bigger plan!_**

**_Hiro - 'abundant', 'generous', 'tolerant' or 'prosperous'_**

**_Nova- New.  
_**

**_Sora- Sky. Can be a female or male name._**

**_Eve- On the dawn of (a day/ thing). E.g: Christmas Eve, on the Eve of a new day. (Well, that's the version of the word I'm using!)_**

**_Raine- A variant on the word Rain. Inspired by Raine from FF8._**

**_Lazuli - The second half of the name of the Lapiz Lazuli, a blue gemstone._**

**_Jasper- A type of Gem, a shade of yellow I believe._**

**_Locke - Taken from the word 'Locke-smith' (probably). Reference to FF6's Locke._**

**_Nao- Can mean 'Honest' Or 'Esteem' among other readings. Usually a female given name, however can be a male name._**

Aiko Dia Estheim

Haru Yun Estheim

Garnet Coral Estheim

Maria Alexandria Estheim

Alex Hiro Villiers

Mikomi* Jade Villiers

Nova Kin Kreiss

Holly Emerald Kriess

Eve Ruby Kriess

Raine Opal Faron

Sunny Lazuli Faron

Jasper Katzroy

Nao Katzroy


End file.
